It seems to me that a case can be made that if Obama honestly followed his own logic, instead of telling kids to stay in school and become educated, he would instead be telling them to consider dropping out because higher education really isn’t important.
He should start out my mentioning how just 2 years ago he had publicly announced to everyone that he wouldn’t consider running for President for many years because he knew he lacked the education and experience the job required. He should then say that he let other people talk him into running however, and with the help of the News Media and duped voters he was able to become President even without all that important experience or education about the Founding Father’s, The Constitution, or the traditions that have made this Republic great for the past 233 years.
To buttress this point he might then use Senator Begich as an example, illustrating how the Alaskan college drop-out has only 2 semesters more of Junior College than Levi Johnston, yet with just 1 corrupt political prosecution and the assistance of the Media, there he sits in the halls of Congress. Obama could then describe how Senator Ted Kennedy simply had other guys take his exams for him in College, and maybe also tell how Vice President Joe Biden simply lied about his own success in college, and plagerized others to win elections, and since that worked, why bother to do the real thing when lying about it is so much easier. He might even mention how he himself will never, ever let anybody see his own SAT’s or transcripts because then we’d know how poorly he did in college, so just blow it all off, save yourself and the country tons of money on College loans, and instead just use a corrupt legal system and party politics ala Begich to get into power.
This foundation laid, the President might now mention how it’s actually important to avoid learning difficult subjects like Math, by pointing out examples of Tax Cheats such as Geitner, Rangal, Daschle etc. Their excuse for cheating on their taxes is simply to plead ignorance of numbers, whereas if they actually had taken those tough Math courses, they would instead be in Jail. Plus Latina gal’s are going to be wiser than anybody else anyway, regardless whether they ever cracked a book, so that part of the lecture ought to conclude with don’t go to college, but if you do, don’t take tough subjects.
Part 3 could cover positive alternatives to staying in school. “All that shovel ready jobs really require is pretty much holding a shovel”, Obama might explain to the wide-eyed grade-schoolers, and if that doesn’t fit their personal “Hope and Change” agendas, the President might then suggest a couple weeks attendance at the new Government course he’s just instituted on how to properly hold flags at Roadside Construction sites. And for the more creative youngsters possibly suggesting an art class or two, so that they can get hired by the NEA to create colorful Obama Road Construction Posters to stand next to with the flags. That, and enough reading and writing ability to make your mark on a Union Ballot or Absentee Election Form ought to carry you through just about anything. And for the politically driven among them, stress that simply practicing with a Karioke machine will qualify almost anyone to learn how to read a Tele-prompter.
To conclude Obama should tell the children why victory in actually finishing college is as unimportant as actually achieving victory in Afghanistan. If one does achieve victory, It’s gonna’ create hard feelings among Islamic terrorists and your competitors, so better to just slack off from the git-go, since the Governments going to be providing housing and food stamps and Health Care and abortions and TV and Cel-phones and FaceBook and Twitter all for free anyway, so no need to ever be burning the midnight oil, since in all 57 states midnight oil is expensive and causes Global Warming to boot. Have a nice Day!
I think that about sums it up.