03 March 2006

A la Carter

[source, source]

President Carter personally called Secretary of State Rice to try to convince her to reverse her U.N. ambassador’s position on changes to the U.N. Human Rights Commission, the former president recalled yesterday in a talk in which he also criticized President Bush’s Christian bona fides and misstated past American policies on Israel.

Mr. Carter said he made a personal promise to ambassadors from Egypt, Pakistan, and Cuba on the U.N. change issue that was undermined by America’s ambassador, John Bolton. “My hope is that when the vote is taken,” he told the Council on Foreign Relations, “the other members will outvote the United States.”

In unsurprising news, former President Carter

  • still thinks that he is in charge of American foreign policy
  • is rooting against his own country
  • is kissing the bloody boots of brutal dictators

Given Carter’s record on upholding the oaths he swore when he became President, how can any of these people be surprised at how little his word is worth?

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Don't mess with Texas

To the town of Beaumont, Texas
Came a stranger one fine day
Riding slowly from the west side
Didn’t have too much to say
He’s a stranger who’s been running
Came the whisper from each lip
And he’s here to do some business
With that Big Iron on his hip
Big Iron on his hip

In the town lived one Jihadi
Who sold cigareets and gas
Al-Bayed would talk about how he’d
Soon kick some Texas ass
Tho’ he swore that he’d behead ‘em
So far his jihad had been strange
20 men bought cheap gas and smokes
20 men had been shortchanged
20 men had been shortchanged

It wasn’t long before the stranger
Made it known to folks around
He was a Texas Ranger
Wouldn’t be too long in Town
Here to capture a cheap conman
Maybe live or maybe dead
It didn’t really matter
He was after Al-Bayed

It was early at the Truck Stop
When they met to make their play
And the swiftness of the Ranger
Is still talked about today
Al-Bayed whipped out a scimitar
and flailed it round his head
The Ranger drew his .45
and shot that rascal dead
He shot that rascal dead

It was kinda like that scene
From “Indiana Jones”
Where ol’ Indy shoots the Swordsman
“Dipshit, just leave me alone”
Al-Bayed might have gone on living
til he made one fatal slip
When he tried to match the Ranger
With the Big Iron on his hip
Big Iron on his hip

So Jihadi’s pay attention
When you’re planning your Jihad
Your silliness plays better
Where the local folks ain’t bad
If you want to throw a hoohaw
It might play in Boston, Mass
If you try to mess with Texas
They will kill your ragged ass
They will kill your ragged ass 

Carl H

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