07 March 2003

And now, idiots

US Representative Marcy Kaptur finds an equivalence between Al Qaeda and the Founding Fathers. [source]
Posted by orbital at 8:05 PM | View 0 TrackBacks | Trackback URL

A good answer to a stupid question

James Lileks provides a much better response for a reporter's question. [source]

Terry (arrogant idiot reporter)

May I ask, what went wrong that so many governments and peoples around the world now not only disagree with you very strongly but see the U.S. under your leadership as an arrogant power?
President Bush:
Oh, many things went wrong, Terry. We failed to understand the extent to which the French are economically entwined with Iraq, and how this war would make their knees vibrate like orgasmic hummingbirds. While we realized the power of Anti-Americanism as a cudgel with which to beat the rest of Europe into accepting a Franco-German hegemony, we didn’t think they’d screw us this hard for short-term political gain. We misunderestimated Turkish protestations of support - although, as you no doubt noted from my earlier comments supporting their EU membership and lauding their role in NATO, we’re certainly not going to kick them in the nads in public like some of our allies have done to us. And while I agree that ordinary citizens have protested our government in foreign capitals, I’d ask you why American security should be determined by 26 year old Belgian college students, and I’d also note that these rallies have been organized by people who’d dance in the street if someone set off a tactical nuclear device in the lobby of the Monsanto corporate office. But more to the point, Terry, I’d ask: What went wrong in your education that you believe that the disapproval of China constitutes failure?
Posted by orbital at 7:46 PM | View 0 TrackBacks | Trackback URL

The way press conferences should be handled

Rumsfeld tells the reporters the real truth. [source]
Rumsfeld laughed heartily, striking fear in the hearts of all the reporters. "After Iraq is obliterated, we will turn our vengeance on the U.N. and all those unfaithful to America. Most of Europe will be stripped mined and Canada changed into a prison camp."
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